This is seriously weird. Since I basically just decided to fast for Yom Kippur yesterday, I'm not exactly prepared for the whole fasting thing. I had lo mein and two glasses of water for dinner last night, so basically no proteins or carbs were chilling in my stomach, waiting for today. I'm empty-tummied.
But surprisingly, it's not bad. I'm not ravenous. It feels a little uncomfortable, like I keep saying to myself, "Huh, you know, I feel kinda off. I better have some lunch." But my family's being pretty considerate and not eating foods that have glorious wafting smells. And it's pretty nice to be reflective today.
I feel very isolated in terms of religion. When I was younger until a few years ago, I used to be very proud of the fact that I was "half Jewish." And I was, I was proud to have Jewish roots and to be one of few kids in school to be celebrating Passover in the spring instead of Easter. But then I got new and argumentative friends ^^" and with that came the realization that one cannot be half a religion! It makes no sense! You believe in one religion, not two. That was when I felt stupid and stopped saying I was Jewish, lest people figure out that I was honestly just a non-religious kid who liked being different.
Then a few things happened. I read Life of Pi. My high school merged with our neighboring town, in which probably 1 of 5 kids had a last name ending with -berg, -stein, or -witz. And I stood up to my argumentative friends!
It's true that I'm not religious at all. I don't believe in a higher power. When I light candles on the menorah or drink grape juice at Passover (too young and innocent for wine), I don't do it solemnly or religiously at all. But I kinda feel a kinship to other Jews. My ancestors are Jewish, and half of my family too, and although I don't really practice religion, I think it's safe to call myself a Jew. Not in the religious sense, but Jews are a group. They're like an ethnic group. They stick together. And I like being a part of that.
So I think it's my responsibility to at least know what I'm celebrating when it's Chanukkah or when I'm going to a Seder, or whatever, whenever. I owe it to my ancestors to fast on the beginning of the new year, even if I'm not doing it for God. I'm doing it because, heck, I can! And to me, that's just the way I want it to be.
So shana tova, everyone! (And T minus 3 and a half hours until I can have pizza!)
