Hi, all... It's been a while. I was just on my laptop binge-watching Rani Mukerji movies and I decided to post on here. Just a check-in, check-up, kuch bhi, τέλος πάντων, whatever!
So I'm madly in love right now. No kidding. Nenu ninnu premisthanu. I call him uppu and he calls me karam. It's great!
I'm reading this book The Smartest Kids in the World right now; it's great fun! It keeps inspiring me to apply to UWC or AFS or something that offers a foreign schooling program. I'd love to be an exchange student... I really would. Like, my junior year somewhere else... It would be great. A Red Hook kid posted on Facebook that he got his acceptance letter to go to Germany for a year next year, his junior year, and I was bahut jealous. Another Red Hook kid, the Polak, is in Costa Rica for some convention thing... UGHHH. I know it's pretty selfish, but I am absolutely dying to go somewhere, especially somewhere where I can be a teenager and not be with my parents.
Here's why it's selfish: Since camp, I've been dying to go to some Peace Corps-type camp for high-school kids over the summer. Go to Guatemala or Dharamsala for 4 or 5 weeks, do some sightseeing, meet new kids, do some service work, learn the language, feel productive. They're all a few thousand dollars just for like 3-4 weeks, but still. But after spending winter break in a fog, calling the one person I shouldn't every night and scrolling through pages and pages of camps where jappy kids from the tri-state area can go to Shimla together, I was feeling pretty cynical about the whole thing.
Back story, because I like to talk about mein kampf: Honestly, for a couple reasons, break was just a bad situation. I couldn't function properly... I was kind of obsessive about stuff. And apathetic about other stuff. I half-watched lots of movies until late, and then I wouldn't want to go upstairs to sleep. So I would just hang out alone downstairs and eat, or something. One night I fell asleep on the stairs because I didn't want my parents to hear me coming into my room so late, and one night I didn't sleep at all. On Christmas I was such a pain in the you-know-what for the whole family that my mom found me when I was trying to sneak upstairs that night and got me into my room and just made me talk. It was good, though. I came out of my sulk. End of back story.
And I realized that it was v. lame to go to one of those camps because they're kind of self-indulgent. Or they'd be self-indulgent for me, at least. For one thing, the quality of the people going to them... I'm not going to elaborate on that, but they're not my kind of people, they're not in it for the same things as me. But I would be going to volunteer with people for myself, not for the need to help others. I would be doing it because I wanted to go to India, not because I felt upset about conditions that people face... It would be redeeming for me--I would be doing it for that redeeming feeling. If that makes sense. And I find that really lame.
So I want to travel, but for the sake of traveling. Not for something else that I should be focusing on. If I want to do volunteer work, I should do it in the States, and if I want to see India, I should do it in Bharat for the sake of seeing Bharat.
That was, like, so deep... See, this is why I don't like blogging. I always make my situation sound so much more depressing. Here, CAPS LOCK AND EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!! SHAHRUKH KHAN, ARJUN KAPOOR, SHAHID KAPOOR'S LIPS!!!!! TELUGU!!!!! विवेक गोगिनेनी!!!!! मैं तुमसे प्यार करती हूँ!!!!! बहुत अच्छा और आजा!!!!! Gratuitous enthusiasm ^_(\
So I'm madly in love right now. No kidding. Nenu ninnu premisthanu. I call him uppu and he calls me karam. It's great!
I'm reading this book The Smartest Kids in the World right now; it's great fun! It keeps inspiring me to apply to UWC or AFS or something that offers a foreign schooling program. I'd love to be an exchange student... I really would. Like, my junior year somewhere else... It would be great. A Red Hook kid posted on Facebook that he got his acceptance letter to go to Germany for a year next year, his junior year, and I was bahut jealous. Another Red Hook kid, the Polak, is in Costa Rica for some convention thing... UGHHH. I know it's pretty selfish, but I am absolutely dying to go somewhere, especially somewhere where I can be a teenager and not be with my parents.
Here's why it's selfish: Since camp, I've been dying to go to some Peace Corps-type camp for high-school kids over the summer. Go to Guatemala or Dharamsala for 4 or 5 weeks, do some sightseeing, meet new kids, do some service work, learn the language, feel productive. They're all a few thousand dollars just for like 3-4 weeks, but still. But after spending winter break in a fog, calling the one person I shouldn't every night and scrolling through pages and pages of camps where jappy kids from the tri-state area can go to Shimla together, I was feeling pretty cynical about the whole thing.
Back story, because I like to talk about mein kampf: Honestly, for a couple reasons, break was just a bad situation. I couldn't function properly... I was kind of obsessive about stuff. And apathetic about other stuff. I half-watched lots of movies until late, and then I wouldn't want to go upstairs to sleep. So I would just hang out alone downstairs and eat, or something. One night I fell asleep on the stairs because I didn't want my parents to hear me coming into my room so late, and one night I didn't sleep at all. On Christmas I was such a pain in the you-know-what for the whole family that my mom found me when I was trying to sneak upstairs that night and got me into my room and just made me talk. It was good, though. I came out of my sulk. End of back story.
And I realized that it was v. lame to go to one of those camps because they're kind of self-indulgent. Or they'd be self-indulgent for me, at least. For one thing, the quality of the people going to them... I'm not going to elaborate on that, but they're not my kind of people, they're not in it for the same things as me. But I would be going to volunteer with people for myself, not for the need to help others. I would be doing it because I wanted to go to India, not because I felt upset about conditions that people face... It would be redeeming for me--I would be doing it for that redeeming feeling. If that makes sense. And I find that really lame.
So I want to travel, but for the sake of traveling. Not for something else that I should be focusing on. If I want to do volunteer work, I should do it in the States, and if I want to see India, I should do it in Bharat for the sake of seeing Bharat.
That was, like, so deep... See, this is why I don't like blogging. I always make my situation sound so much more depressing. Here, CAPS LOCK AND EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!! SHAHRUKH KHAN, ARJUN KAPOOR, SHAHID KAPOOR'S LIPS!!!!! TELUGU!!!!! विवेक गोगिनेनी!!!!! मैं तुमसे प्यार करती हूँ!!!!! बहुत अच्छा और आजा!!!!! Gratuitous enthusiasm ^_(\
