I feel a little sad because this past Saturday and Sunday, I learned how to master a weekend. I honestly think I was happy the entire time. No boredom. Hardly any 2048. No sadness. No FOMO even. Yeah, that's come back.
I digress. I can't relax. Too many group projects and I can't relax. All I want to do is read and run and talk to K and listen to music. I have so many things I can do. I want to take a long shower. I want to do planks on the floor. I want to type lists of food I'll have in the apartment. I want to start playing tennis again this season. I want to get the same feeling of my 800m last track meet. I want to style my books. I want to read Rookie articles. I want to blog the whole damn day. I want to write to Mia and Tess and Siena. I want my allergies to be bad on a hot late afternoon just so I have an excuse to turn all my lights off in my room and lie in my chair with a cold washcloth over my inflamed eyes and listen to my 80s Pop and Smashing Pumpkins radios on Pandora. I've gotten very attached to Sugar Ray and Simple Minds.
Is it so hard? As we get older, we get bored. Why did we have nap time in kindergarten? No one ever napped; I remember spending that time lying on my towel and learning how to make animal noises from Brett. My brother actually gets in trouble for not wanting to lie down and close his eyes. But as 5- and 6-year-olds, our minds are too active. We're sort of ADD. We can't just stop everything. Everything's too exciting. But now! Now if we had nap time, everyone would love it to death. It'd be the best if we had nap time. Or if we could have less work. Or just start school later. My point is that we need more time to recharge. We're swamped with work, and we come home to homework, and we don't have any constructive free time. And school's too structured. I read an article on Rookie when I was supposed to be working on my Iwo Jima works cited—WHICH I COULD DO IN FIVE MINUTES ANYWAY—about this guy who went to this high school that gave credits for going to museums. Museums, dammit. I'd go to a museum. I'd love the hell out of a museum if I had one around. I guess I just wish I could drive. I'll never get bored then.
Above all, I realized I hate working in groups. I'm a procrastinator, but it honestly works in my favor. I go at my own speed and produce my best work the few days before something's due. I can't stand people pressuring me to do this and that. I don't know why; I just can't. And I hate presenting with other people. I wish we could have relax days. I wish I didn't stay home the other day from allergies; now I'm all enticed by the idea of keeping my brain home from school. I wish I lived in a city; I'd have so much fun stuff to do. I don't need friends. I'm not sure I have too many anymore. But I guess I'm more of a lone wolf for now anyway.
I digress. I can't relax. Too many group projects and I can't relax. All I want to do is read and run and talk to K and listen to music. I have so many things I can do. I want to take a long shower. I want to do planks on the floor. I want to type lists of food I'll have in the apartment. I want to start playing tennis again this season. I want to get the same feeling of my 800m last track meet. I want to style my books. I want to read Rookie articles. I want to blog the whole damn day. I want to write to Mia and Tess and Siena. I want my allergies to be bad on a hot late afternoon just so I have an excuse to turn all my lights off in my room and lie in my chair with a cold washcloth over my inflamed eyes and listen to my 80s Pop and Smashing Pumpkins radios on Pandora. I've gotten very attached to Sugar Ray and Simple Minds.
Is it so hard? As we get older, we get bored. Why did we have nap time in kindergarten? No one ever napped; I remember spending that time lying on my towel and learning how to make animal noises from Brett. My brother actually gets in trouble for not wanting to lie down and close his eyes. But as 5- and 6-year-olds, our minds are too active. We're sort of ADD. We can't just stop everything. Everything's too exciting. But now! Now if we had nap time, everyone would love it to death. It'd be the best if we had nap time. Or if we could have less work. Or just start school later. My point is that we need more time to recharge. We're swamped with work, and we come home to homework, and we don't have any constructive free time. And school's too structured. I read an article on Rookie when I was supposed to be working on my Iwo Jima works cited—WHICH I COULD DO IN FIVE MINUTES ANYWAY—about this guy who went to this high school that gave credits for going to museums. Museums, dammit. I'd go to a museum. I'd love the hell out of a museum if I had one around. I guess I just wish I could drive. I'll never get bored then.
Above all, I realized I hate working in groups. I'm a procrastinator, but it honestly works in my favor. I go at my own speed and produce my best work the few days before something's due. I can't stand people pressuring me to do this and that. I don't know why; I just can't. And I hate presenting with other people. I wish we could have relax days. I wish I didn't stay home the other day from allergies; now I'm all enticed by the idea of keeping my brain home from school. I wish I lived in a city; I'd have so much fun stuff to do. I don't need friends. I'm not sure I have too many anymore. But I guess I'm more of a lone wolf for now anyway.
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