I am so, so devastatingly sad that camp is over. 6 weeks of my life, all a memory. WAAAAHH!! And omg I miss the bae sooo much, like I didn't even get to say a proper goodbye (meaning hug and flirty reminder to text me) and now I'm pretty sure we'll never see each other again... Waaaahh...
Always telling myself that "from now on, it'll be different." But no, it never happens. I'm still anxious and disappointed and upset and freaked out and stressed about everything.
The issue is also that I feel like I don't have an excuse for any of it. Like, when my mom told me I could have anxiety I was almost thrilled to accept that (even though I'm pretty sure I don't). Like, everything is all my fault and I could flip it at any time I wanted to, I'm just choosing to be stubborn and lazy and unfocused about it. There's no depression or anxiety or eating disorder at play here, just me and my inability to act. It's so upsetting really
On a different note, I am DYING for a camera!! I know I've mentioned this before, but EVERY encounter is a photo op!!
What I want to do:
-Take fotos all the time
-Run every day
-Get strong arms for once in my life, jajaja
-Not fail the French exam
-Learn the whole Call Me Baby dance (and roast 크루브 bc let's face it, the guy sucks at dancing and I am a machine)
-Decorate my room (put up Shakespeare and Co. poster, make art, decorate desk space, etc.)
-Take artsy pics in Europe w my dumb 4S, jajaja
-Bike more!! I used to be so obsessed w the idea of biking after Blue Tree two summers ago but idk what happened to that, jaja. But it's such a great thing!
-Send off the letters 미르신아기 and I made for the second-years (jajajajaj her puns randomly surpass the panache of any given Jew's instagram at my school)
-Do sth productive w my sophomore year
-Learn how to use my (until now completely obsolete) sewing machine
-Some (click) times in our lives (click) we all have pain, we all have sorrow~ (I have absolutely no idea why I wrote that. Feeling CRS nostalgia or sth)
-Delete instagram!!!!??!!!
-Go to sleep immediately
Always telling myself that "from now on, it'll be different." But no, it never happens. I'm still anxious and disappointed and upset and freaked out and stressed about everything.
The issue is also that I feel like I don't have an excuse for any of it. Like, when my mom told me I could have anxiety I was almost thrilled to accept that (even though I'm pretty sure I don't). Like, everything is all my fault and I could flip it at any time I wanted to, I'm just choosing to be stubborn and lazy and unfocused about it. There's no depression or anxiety or eating disorder at play here, just me and my inability to act. It's so upsetting really
On a different note, I am DYING for a camera!! I know I've mentioned this before, but EVERY encounter is a photo op!!
What I want to do:
-Take fotos all the time
-Run every day
-Get strong arms for once in my life, jajaja
-Not fail the French exam
-Learn the whole Call Me Baby dance (and roast 크루브 bc let's face it, the guy sucks at dancing and I am a machine)
-Decorate my room (put up Shakespeare and Co. poster, make art, decorate desk space, etc.)
-Take artsy pics in Europe w my dumb 4S, jajaja
-Bike more!! I used to be so obsessed w the idea of biking after Blue Tree two summers ago but idk what happened to that, jaja. But it's such a great thing!
-Send off the letters 미르신아기 and I made for the second-years (jajajajaj her puns randomly surpass the panache of any given Jew's instagram at my school)
-Do sth productive w my sophomore year
-Learn how to use my (until now completely obsolete) sewing machine
-Some (click) times in our lives (click) we all have pain, we all have sorrow~ (I have absolutely no idea why I wrote that. Feeling CRS nostalgia or sth)
-Delete instagram!!!!??!!!
-Go to sleep immediately
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