Peace of Mind

     I love this song now. I got into it after hibachi on Friday, when F was driving me back home with N in the car as well, and her mom started playing her Boston CD because that's just how she's like, and F started raving about Peace of Mind and Foreplay and all. I'm really into the former though, like really really. But Boston is the best in general. That, and All Day and All of the Night. So, Boston and the Kinks.
     Tomorrow is my interview for BA. Surprisingly, I'm not nervous yet. It's probably just the calm before the storm, and god does that sound ominous, but I'll take it. It's about a thousand times better than going ballistic with stress weeks in advance like I usually do.
     My mom was doing my hair for me and she said I've been acting happier in the last week. Maybe it's because it's my birthday, maybe not. I smiled to myself because I know the reason. At least one reason. I think it all started at hibachi with my film-night friends, and it got better and better because I was done with my Rising Sun interview.
     I'm also a little glad to be done with writing class in a few weeks. Even though I love being in the city and getting to walk around by myself like an independent woman or something, I don't like being pressured to write. Then again, if I didn't go out every Saturday morning to be constructive, my day would inevitably fall to ruin... I'd just lie around doing nothing. But the writing... The writing is so hard all of a sudden. I don't like to think, but I do like to think that it's some of his attitude rubbing off on me, and of course my "newfound" listlessness (wonder where that came from) has to do with it. I just... My mindset changes so often that I can't keep up writing a story. I think my problem is that I'm trying to write a "perfect story," or at least one that captures perfectly my essence right now. Unfortunately for me, that's pretty much impossible, seeing as my thoughts and even how I carry myself change so often it's not even funny. I can't keep up with myself, honestly. It's very tricky.

The dues I've been paying

Happy birthday, me.

I'm trying, see?

I honestly just looked at her, like, who are you kidding? Like I was the supreme being there. In fact, in North Korea, the only reason why the blind want to see is to fall on their knees and thank Kim Jong Un. Don't thank the doctor. Thank the supreme being. I saw it.

I'm really scared for my two interviews, Camp Rising Sun's on Saturday and BA's next Thursday. Like, really stressed. A lot. K tried to calm me down, but I ended up just getting mad at him, which is what always happens.

I would like to be more productive with my time. How will I do it?
1.) do homework
2.) stop talking to him
3.) be creative
4.) be responsible
5.) be engaged
6.) don't get sidetracked
7.) read
8.) run
9.) I hate running. Play tennis instead.
10.) don't use my phone and school iPad as much
11.) save for the cultural immersion camp
12.) find a purpose... No... Don't succumb to his ways now.
13.) write
14.) write down a list of all the things that I should do to achieve my own nirvana
15.) write more lists. I always used to do that.
16.) don't let them get too long. Long lists suck.

All I want is you—U2
Could you be loved—Bob Marley
Such great heights—cover by Iron and Wine
Demons—Imagine Dragons (only because of him)
Sunday Bloody Sunday—U2
Paradise—Coldplay
Jenny I got your number, 867-5309, or whatever the name of it is
Little rosa—?
Ringa Ringa—A. R. Rahman

Je Dois Faire, 21.11.13

-learn Arabic via Johns Hopkins! But first...
-take SAT
-get a new typewriter
-get a Raspberry Pi (Hanukkah... Maman, I love youuu...)
-not fall asleep while emailing my "second-best friend" for ONCE
-make the Asians cut it out with their talk of "taking out the trash" -_-
-write a bit this weekend
-run before 5k on Thanksgiving
-watch Slumdog Millionaire, Wadjda, etc.
-watch Gidget for no intellectual or cultural benefit at all whatsoever
-finish City of Bones and What is the What
-fix soles of flatforms
-bring up my teetering grade in science
-sweep over BCA application for last time
-don't tease E ^_^
-learn Snow on guitar
-learn You Never Give Me Your Money on piano
-go to Girl Scouts meeting
-forget about G, even though V TALKED TO HIM ABOUT ME YESTERDAY AAAAAH YESSSSSSS!
-go to India already
-at the very least, get K to teach me the basics of Gujarati

Why is there an (s) after Muhammad's name?

   Many of my friends at school are either obsessed with Asians and their culture, or Asian themselves. And you know, I always fancied myself the, well, not the anti-Asian, necessarily, I mean, I'm not some disgusting elitist. I just wasn't all hardcore AAAAAH I WISH I WAS JAPANESE AND ATE DIM SUM EVERY DAY AND BOMBARDED MY EVERYDAY SPEECH WITH RACIAL SLURS! I liked Europe. And don't get me wrong, I still do.

   But I've fallen in love with Asia myself. But not Japan and S.K. like the rest of my friends have. I like India (as if that wasn't blatantly obvious enough... and K doesn't even think I'm a Hinduism aficionado! He thought I didn't know the significance of Shiv's name when I shivved him. Honestly), and the Middle East, and all those. Nepal. Buddhism. Hinduism. Islam.

   I'm in love with Asia now. In love with the most corrupt and poverty-stricken parts of it, of course. Ach, why do I always do this to myself? See, Indian males, you're making me German-sigh. Thanks. 

   But I'm definitely going to travel around Asia like Meredith in Without a Map did. The exact parts. And film something. Make the next Wadjda.

People left me some notes

My boyyyyyfriend left me a note in Korean! Ironically enough, the note on the yellow index card is suggesting that I get married... but not to him...

 


Words of wisdom from one Francesca Ferraro.

My room, part 1

Some pictures I took a few days ago when I was feeling particularly artistic. The scene was probably as follows--I had just finished a nice container of pineapple and papaya Greek yogurt (yogurt and I have a bit of a love-hate relationship. I like eating it before or after I run), No Quarter was playing, I was waiting for the Hongs to come over, and the sun was hitting the floorboards just right. And actually I was watching Gidget when the Hongs came over... sorry. Selective memory, you know.